Part 1: Why Do We Suffer? Understanding Pain and Suffering

Pain is unavoidable. It arrives uninvited—through loss, failure, illness, or heartbreak. It comes in many forms: the sharp sting of rejection, the dull ache of loneliness, the consuming weight of grief. It can be fleeting or persistent, minor or overwhelming. But suffering is something more complex. It is not just the presence of pain, but the meaning we attach to it, the weight we assign, and the way we allow it to shape us.

Some suffering transforms us, deepening our wisdom and resilience. Other suffering lingers, holding us captive in loops of rumination, avoidance, or despair. The real challenge is not simply enduring pain but understanding its purpose and its impact. The question isn’t if we will suffer, but rather: How do we engage with suffering in a way that fosters growth rather than deepens despair? How do we make sense of suffering without being consumed by it?

When we start to recognize the different forms of suffering in our lives, we gain the power to understand it, navigate it, and even reshape its impact. We can explore when suffering is a necessary path to growth and when it is an unnecessary weight we carry. More importantly, we can learn how to navigate suffering in a way that fosters resilience rather than reinforcing distress.

This blog post is the first in a three-part series exploring the nature of suffering, its different forms, and how we can navigate it.

Over the next three posts, we will examine suffering from different perspectives:

• Part 1 (this post) will define suffering and distinguish it from pain.
• Part 2 will explore the different types of suffering—temporary vs. lasting, internal vs. external, physical vs. psychological.
• Part 3 will focus on how to navigate suffering, when to endure it, and when to release it.

In this first installment, we’ll focus on distinguishing pain from suffering and recognizing the different ways suffering can manifest in our lives.

Pain and suffering are often mistaken for the same experience, but they are fundamentally different. Pain is immediate—a natural response to harm, whether physical or psychological, alerting us that something needs attention. It acts as a signal, a built-in warning system that something has disrupted our well-being. A broken bone, the loss of a loved one, or a personal failure all bring pain. But pain, in itself, is not suffering.

Suffering, on the other hand, is what happens after the initial pain. It is the mental and emotional processing of discomfort, the meaning we assign to our pain, and the narrative we build around it. Two people can experience the same painful event—say, the loss of a job—but their level of suffering may be drastically different. One person may see the job loss as an opportunity for reinvention, while another spirals into self-doubt and despair. The event is the same; the suffering is not.

This distinction matters because it gives us agency. If suffering is about interpretation, then it means that while we may not always control pain, we can shape how we experience suffering. We can challenge our beliefs, shift our perspective, and choose how we process discomfort. This is not to suggest that suffering can always be avoided or minimized. Some suffering runs deep, demanding time, patience, and healing. But recognizing that suffering is, in part, an internal process allows us to engage with it more intentionally.

When you think about your own suffering, do you notice patterns? Is there a difference between the pain that shaped you and the pain that drained you? What if suffering isn’t just about what happens to you, but about how you engage with it? Some pain refines us, forcing us to grow, while other pain lingers, keeping us stuck. Understanding the different forms of suffering can help us recognize which struggles are worth embracing—and which ones we have the power to release.

Suffering is not a single, uniform experience—it takes many forms, each with its own weight and impact. Some suffering is sharp and fleeting, while other forms linger for years, shaping identity and perspective. Some suffering pushes us toward growth, while other suffering keeps us stuck. Recognizing the distinctions between different types of suffering allows us to better understand its purpose, navigate its effects, and determine whether it is something to endure, transform, or release.

Understanding the difference between pain and suffering is the first step in changing how we engage with hardship. Some suffering deepens us, while other suffering limits us. The key lies in recognizing the patterns of suffering in our own lives and assessing whether they are shaping us or holding us back.

In the next part of this series, we’ll explore how suffering manifests in different ways—whether it is temporary or long-lasting, external or internal, physical, psychological, or relational. By understanding the various forms of suffering, we can begin to see it more clearly and navigate it more effectively. Stay tuned for Part 2: The Forms of Suffering: How It Shapes Our Lives.